Heart To Heart Adoption

Choosing to put your baby up for adoption is not a decision to be taken lightly or made hastily.  At Heart to Heart Adoptions, Utah, they understand the weight of this tough decision for birth mothers and do all that they can to help.  The program provides housing, medical care, and support for birth mothers who choose adoption.  Heart to Heart Adoptions understands that sometimes it is the best decision for the child and has met many loving mothers who choose adoption for a variety of reasons.

Emotionally unprepared
There are many cases where a woman becomes pregnant before she is ready to face motherhood.  Sometimes she is too young, she has goals she wants to accomplish before becoming a mother, or she never wants to have the responsibility of motherhood.  Whatever the reason, being emotionally unprepared does not make her a bad person.  This is just one reason that some women choose to put their baby up for adoption.

Financially unprepared
Bringing a baby in to the world is a huge financial burden.  Before they are even born, there are a number of medical bills to pay and items you have to buy just to prepare for their arrival.  Then once they are born, there is food, shelter, and clothes, not only for your baby but yourself as well.  In this day and age, even with a good job, the cost of a child can be overwhelming.  Sometimes because of being financially unprepared a woman may have to put her baby up for adoption.  Fortunately, they are many families in much better positions to care for a child financially.

Lack of support
Unfortunately, far too often a woman finds herself in a position where she is pregnant and has no family support.  The father does not want the baby, her family wants her to get rid of the baby, or her life at home is unstable.  Rather than raise the baby in an unhealthy environment where it may feel unloved, the woman may choose to give the baby up for adoption.  There are many safe, loving homes ready to take in a baby.

These are just a few reasons a woman may choose adoption for her baby.  Heart to Heart Adoptions understands that the birth mother is choosing the best possible life for her child, and is caring for them in the best way she can.  That is why Heart to Heart Adoptions, Utah, provides full support for a woman during this time.  They offer counseling as well and help every step of the way.

The history of adoption is a long one that dates back hundreds of years.  In the beginning, however, the practice of adoption was not the same it is today.  The modern form of adoption, that has its roots in United States history, is seen as a form of creating a parent-child relationship where one may not exist.  In ancient time, however, children were often mistreated and taken in for slave labor or other purposes.

Dating back to the Roman Empire, royalty would take in orphans for cheap labor or to continue the line of their ruling family.  Often, if a son was not born in to the ruling family, they would take in an orphan as their own to raise.  This way, he could become the heir of the throne and their family would not lose their place in society.  Otherwise, children were taken in for labor purposes and put to work.  The Catholic Church became aware of this, though, and began placing abandoned children in to convents where they would be treated better.

The Middle Ages saw a rise in abandoned children.  Again, these orphans were used for work purposes or often ignored.  The church stepped in again and began setting up orphanages to take in these children.  They worked hard to find proper housing and care for them, and limit the amount of abandoned children on the streets.

Change came in the 19^th century with the idea of “Orphan Asylums”.  This was a practice of placing children in the care of businessmen, where both the adopter and the adoptee could help each other out.  The businessman would teach the child their trade, giving the child a skill to fall back on, and the child would help the man by working for him.  The businessman would also provide care and shelter for the child.

Up until 1851, however, government was not involved in the adoption process.  The first adoption law was created in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.  This law required that all adoptions be made legal in a court system, include consent from birth parents and adopting parents, and require adopting parents to be eligible and able to care for the child.  While this was an improvement upon earlier practices, laws were not enforced and were not clearly defined.  It was often found that homes children were being placed into were not properly caring for them.

During the American Civil War, many children were found abandoned in the streets and accommodations for them became overcrowded.  At this point the idea of “Orphan Trains” was thought up by Charles Brace.  This practice put abandoned children on to trains and moved them westward toward farmland.  While the idea was to provide homes for these children, it turned out that farmers were using them for labor and making them work for their housing.

Laws became stricter in 1917 with the passing of the Minnesota Adoption Law.  At this time, adoption records were more diligently kept and were made confidential.  This way, the public could not gain information about adoptive families.  This reduced some of the stigma put on birth mothers and made adoptive parents feel the children were more their own.

Throughout the 1900s, improving the practice of adoption became of national importance.  President Theodore Roosevelt set forth in removing any abuse from the system and providing loving homes for orphans.  From this point on, conditions in the adoption system improved and stricter laws were passed, making the practice of adoption what it is today.

At Heart to Heart Adoptions, Utah, they maintain the utmost confidence that all laws are followed and extra care is put in to each adoption.  They understand the importance of the practice, and realize that there should be no stigma involved.  The agency works to make sure birth mothers and adoptive parents are comfortable and supported throughout the process.  Heart to Heart Adoptions strives to find safe, loving homes for children throughout the country.

As adoptive parents in waiting, you wait for the call to inform you that your little bundle of joy has entered the world and you can finally meet him or her. Some of you may have been working with a birth mother so the call is not nearly as unexpected, and some of you may have placed your name on the waiting list with Heart to Heart Adoption, Utah so the call is a complete surprise.

Whether you are expecting the call from Heart to Heart Adoption, once the shock wears off, you may find yourself feeling slightly overwhelmed. Is the baby’s room ready? Do you have enough diapers, baby wipes, clothes and bedding to accommodate your new bundle of joy? The first thing people must do is take a deep breath and calm down. Whether procrastination is part of your personality’s quirks or you were afraid to prepare too much in case the birth mother decided to parent her own child, never fear … you have plenty of time to be a new parent.

Here are some words of wisdom and advice to prepare you for the next adventure in life.

• There is no such thing as being too prepared. If you are able to see constant daily reminders and pass by the baby’s nursery as you lie in waiting, then at least prepare yourself with essentials. You can either close the baby’s room so you do not feel you are “cursing” yourself by getting too far ahead or you can perhaps leave necessary essentials with a friend so you do not have daily reminders, but are somewhat prepared when the phone rings.
• Flexibility is key! Adoption is typically not a straightforward process, but involves great patience. Be flexible and understanding that perhaps the birth parents situation has changed, the baby’s needs may be different than they were before, or even inclement weather can delay adoption. Parenthood is an unpredictable journey in life, so flexibility in the adoption process is excellent practice for being a parent.
• You are never alone. Even if you are not new to adoption and have traveled down this path previously, each experience is different. Remember to be assertive and ask questions and clarify unfamiliar instructions. Remember, the only stupid question is the one you do not ask, so if you want clarification about what time you should arrive at the hospital, do not be afraid to simply ask. Do not fret, everyone understands the process is overwhelming, yet exciting, and new parents are not expected to retain and process all the information they are presented with.
• Family and friends. It is best to discuss ahead of time with your spouse who you want to tell when you do receive the call. Do you want to send out a mass email to all your friends and family? Are there just specific family members you want to contact? Sometimes people need some family time to adjust to a new baby so do not hesitate to tell family and friends that you need your privacy as you adjust to being a new family.
• Be logical. If you opt to adopt a child outside your state, it is important to have a plan. Who will take care of your pet(s)? Who will pick up your mail? Do you need to recruit a family member to help you wash the baby’s clothes so the nursery is waiting when you arrive home?
• Homecoming. When you, your spouse and the baby arrive at home, who do you want to be surrounded by? Do you want a large homecoming or would you prefer to adapt to your new family in privacy? Your family and friends will want to share in your joy at some point, so having a plan ahead of time will help prevent hurt feelings and ensure that your anxious anxieties are quelled.

The most important part of this process is to enjoy the new addition to your family. Remember, what is most important is your bundle of joy – so just relax and enjoy this exciting moment!